Thursday, April 13, 2017

On Barry Manilow and Booze...

I'm going to tell you a little story that will explain a whole lot about me...and it doesn't involve books. So if you have only ever gone to my blog to read the reviews, and you skim over the first couple paragraphs where I go on about what's happening in my life, or some crazy event that relates to the book I'm reviewing...feel free to skip today's post. For the rest of you, just consider this the Tequila portion of my blog. I've been planning on writing more posts in addition to the reviews, and I finally have a great story to start off that section...but I will always label these for the folks who just aren't interested.

And on to the hilarity...

Okay, so for some back story. I was born in 1975 and raised on Barry Manilow's music. Yes, there were others in the mix. Both of my parents were young and cool, and the stereo was always going. But my mother is a HUGE Barry Manilow fan and she passed that love on to me and my big sister. I listened to his music alongside my Nirvana and Pearl Jam in high school, and my Alanis Morissette and Hootie and the Blowfish in my early 20's.

When I segued to CD's from cassette tapes, and finally had the money to really invest in building up my music selection, I bought this beautiful Barry Manilow box set. I think this was around 1997, and I was on a quest to have all of my mother's favorite albums on CD. I stopped listening to them regularly around the time that my young son walked up on the stage at our base club in Italy, grabbed the microphone, and started belting out Copacabana to the abject HORROR of my country loving husband. My boy had fallen in love with the song after watching the VHS tape that came in the box set...all of those fancy costumes and half-naked dancers had some appeal apparently. So my husband put the kibosh on Barry, and I was forced to keep my love for him secreted away.

Cut to 20 years later.

There are a few things you need to keep in mind as I tell you this new Barry Manilow story. First off, I have an issue with insomnia. I don't sleep a lot and am often up in the wee hours of the night for no good reason. Second important thing to remember is that my husband has been deployed for 6 months now. (this is absolutely PIVOTAL to this story....) And third is that I have turned into a total lightweight when it comes to booze, mainly because my partner in crime is out of the country.

So the setting is my living room at about 2 am on a Friday night (or technically Saturday morning). My sister mentioned drinking a beer to me the other day, and I'd thought...hey, I haven't had one of those since the hubby left...and promptly bought myself a 12-pack of Michelob Amberbock, which I hid from my hubby during our nightly Skype call (because there's no need to be cruel...). I can't sleep, so I am back up, and bored...and the house is empty...which I'm not very good at dealing with. So, I turn on my favorite Spotify playlist and crack open a beer. Then I start singing...and before you know it I'm opening another beer and shouting at Alexa to turn the volume up. And eventually Could It Be Magic comes on...

Now, when stone cold sober, Could It Be Magic is probably my all time favorite Barry Manilow song. After a few beers and very little sleep, I am REALLY getting into my Barry. Did I mention my husband is gone? Plus, have you ever really listened to that song, and how it just builds and builds?? So I grab my phone.

And this is where things go a little wonky...because after 10 pm and a few beers, I should not be allowed to do anything on my phone. But there I am, opening up my Twitter app...and this is the Tweet that I compose.
"I think I'm finally old enough to admit that I get aroused by the @BarryManilow song Could It Be Magic. Yes, I'm drinking. 🍸"
Then I go back to singing, and happily having my own little middle of the night Bridget Jones-style house party.

It takes about an hour before I think...what the hell did I just do??? Did I just tag Barry Manilow on a tweet, proclaiming his music made me hot and bothered on the week that he's on the cover of People magazine?!? On the Twitter account that so far has only shared book material?!?

So I promptly deleted the coward that I am.

Then this morning I wake up to see that Barry Manilow is following me on Twitter.

So Barry, if you're listening...coming out of the closet has in no way kept your female fans from loving you. And my mom wants to make sure you know that we are as devoted to you as we've ever been. And apparently your songs are still turning me I'm sorry I was a coward and kept the world from finding that out.

Anyway, I thought y'all might find that I sure as hell did. It will very clearly tell you a lot about the woman who is writing your book reviews and perfectly illustrates how badly my husband needs to return home. Oh, and why my cell phone needs a breathalyzer (and before anyone asks, no I don't routinely drink by myself or to excess, blah blah blah). Hopefully I haven't just lost all my readers. My public service announcement is, don't tweet at 3 am!!

It is still National Library Week, so don't forget to share the love!!

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