Saturday, September 15, 2018

My Big Apology


I am sitting in my house, on my couch, celebrating the fact that I have actual pants on today. This is a big deal for me, and you have to celebrate your wins people. I have been MIA, and I wasn't even nice enough to write a post saying for you to bare with me. I have shared a few pics on Instagram with descriptions that might clue you in to what's going on, and I've done a few book club lives that would spell it out a bit better...but for whatever reason, I struggled with coming on here and actually putting thoughts on my baby, for everyone to read.

For the past two months I'd been struggling with an epic abdominal issue that resulted in me having my gallbladder out earlier this week. It took a whole lot of tests and doctor appointments before I finally met a surgeon who decided that my gallbladder was the culprit, even though my tests claimed it was healthy. But it was a giant leap of faith to go into a surgery, not really knowing if it would fix the problem. The relief I felt when I came out of that surgery and was told that my gallbladder was a mess can not be described. But my surgery wasn't as easy as it should've been...and I'm a slow healer anyway...so, I have PANTS on today!! And I'm happy.

The pain that brought me into the doc appears to be gone, although I'm still in enough surgery pain that I feel like I'm jinxing something by saying that out loud. But I'm incredibly optimistic that this fixed my issues, and I'll be feeling good soon. But for two months I've basically been out of commission. I was in enough pain that doing things was difficult. Eating was near impossible. A GREAT weight loss tool, but not great for mental health.

A fatal flaw of mine is that I think WAY too much. Now, when you're sitting on your couch for days on end, hurting and bummed out, and thinking too much, it can be a prescription for bad things. It has been a struggle to keep from landing in a pit of depression that I have fallen into in the past, and a pit that I do NOT want to end up in again. I like to think I managed to stay out of it for the most part. Instead, I have spent SO much time thinking about this blog of mine, and what I want from it in the future. Even though I didn't have the energy to come on here and write, it has always been on my mind.

You know how much I love my self-help and personal development books. Everything says you should sit down and figure out what your big goal is, what your passion in life is, what that big thing is that you want to do. I asked my husband recently if he thought it was odd that, at the size I still am, what I REALLY want more than anything is to connect with other women, and help them to become healthy and grow into the best version of themselves. It feels like an odd sentence to type, and a weird thing to say out loud. I think that books still fit in there, as I feel that the community that comes from reading with friends is something everyone should experience. So please don't take this as me professing an end to book reviews, etc. What it really means is that I'm planning to revamp my website, and possibly change the name...and I'm curious if you'll follow me.

I've spent the past few months hung up on names, which is so silly to admit. With the format I plan to change to, I should be able to break down the site into books, diet, etc...so there will still be a "Tomes & Tequila" section...but my heart says that name doesn't quite encompass everything I'd like to cover in the future. I tried to make it work for a while, but it just didn't fit. I have done brainstorming with my favorite creative minds (which means my daughter), and have yet to find something that feels right. So, I'm thinking of just using my name. I have a few other blogging friends who use their names, and I'm guessing it would help if in the future I decided to do something audacious like...write a book, or become a viral sensation. 😂

I'm not sure why I've decided to write all of this, and put it out for public input...but I would really love to hear what you think. I have big ideas y'all. Would you enjoy a more dynamic website experience? Would you read more stuff that is health/weight loss oriented, from someone who is still in the process of losing? An all-encompassing, whole-package, Christina's-version-of-becoming-the-best-you website that still has that kick-ass monthly book club?? LOL Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. I've missed you. Know that even though I haven't been on here writing, I have been creating content in my HEAD...and hope to get it out of the chaos and to you soon.

Much love, and future pants wearing!!

7 comments:

  1. I feel like I need to add a post script. Sometimes I just need to talk out my thoughts with y'all. I know that this is my blog, and I can do what I want with it, etc. But I also don't want to alienate long time readers, hence asking what y'all think. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not going to follow through with a passion of mine. It just means I want to hear what my friends think, because it usually helps to cement my own thoughts and feelings. :)

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  2. Go for it Christina! No need to apologize. I am glad you’re feeling better, but definitely follow your dream! When I first started writing my book it was just to get our story in written form, but then I decided to make my dream of writing a book come true. Then it evolved and I wanted to provide hope for a second chance at love, for military spouses, and for others to relate to our life struggles. I would enjoy reading your thoughts to help others improve their lives, in addition to your book reviews, of course ;-) Thanks, Sara

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  3. Thank you so much Sara! Sometimes I just need to hear one person say Go For it! and I'm ready!! :)

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  4. I agree, Go for it!! You will do great. Sometimes a little change needs to happen to keep the progress going! You’ve got my support!

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    1. Thanks lady!! You are one of the most supportive friends a girl could ever ask for.

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  5. So glad you're doing better, and I hope your road to recovery is short. And as far as changes go, I say keep assessing what it is you want, and jump in when it feels right. I love big changes and small changes and any changes, really. And it's cheesy, but follow your heart.

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    1. Thank you so much! You are so inspiring to me. I watch you hustle, and hustle some more. I'm still on a quest to make it all feel like what it is in my heart, if that makes sense.

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