Friday, February 23, 2018

Curating Your Best Life

Or my list of Bs...

As I've mentioned previously on the blog, I'm very much trying to live my life with intention, and not be as reactive as I've been before. I've always taken things as they've come, and been very spontaneous and fly by the seat of your pants...rarely with a plan or agenda. So for me, using a planner...setting goals...writing out action plans...all of that is new. I've tried various schemes in the past, but none of it stuck or made much of an impact. But it's hard to conquer the world, become a badass, or make any real changes, if all you're doing is putting out fires and reacting to the things that are coming at you. 

I've joked that this blog and my new YouTube channel is, at the moment, me throwing a bunch of disjointed things out into the world and hoping some of it sticks. But I sat down the other night with paper and pen, hoping to find some clarity, and decided that for me it really is about curating your best life. It's what I'm attempting to do. And all of the pieces I'm writing, the videos I'm filming, and the pictures I'm putting on Instagram, are all centered on things I'd decided I wanted to focus on in my attempt to do just that. But without laying the master plan out for anyone to see, it might not be apparent to anyone else. So, this is the beginning post of me laying out that plan for you to see. I hope it will make some sense, and that it sounds like a journey you might want to go on with me. 

Laying in bed one night I was thinking about my life, my priorities, and what was important to me. The things I wanted to focus on. Things I wanted to work on. Areas that were central to who I am and where I'm going. (This explains a lot about why I have trouble sleeping, yes??) And I wanted to name them, write them out, really put pen to paper and start making a plan for once, to ensure that I'm nurturing the areas that are vital to the new and improved me...and not wasting time on things that are irrelevant. But I also wanted to have an easy way to remember them. 

Hence the Bs. A grand cheesy-sounding master scheme planned out by yours truly.

All of the areas that I wanted to focus on. All of the things that were important to me, that I needed to work on a daily basis, could be categorized by words that start with the letter B! How incredibly clever of me!! Maybe I could remember them this way?? 

So I made a page in my bullet journal for each category, and when I moved into my Filofax I moved the lists over there. At the top of the page I wrote in big letters my B word, and then I listed all of the things I could think of to do that related to that word. I basically did a giant brain dump, and now when I'm planning out my days/weeks, I'm going to those lists and trying to grab items off of them to put into my baby routines to INTENTIONALLY put my energy into the areas that are important to me. 

Now the B words, or my specific words and the way I'm using any of this, may not work for you. But the idea behind it is pretty solid. Sometimes we have a disconnect between what we feel in our heart is a priority, and what we are physically doing on a day to day basis. We may say that friendships are a priority, but what are we doing regularly to tend to our most precious relationships?? Or we think that family is #1, but we are always putting work first. I know that I'm letting my self-help-book-reading-freak-flag-fly, but I truly believe that you can benefit from taking some time to at least think about...if not sit down with paper and pen and write out...what is important to you, and what you can do to nurture those areas. And then try your hardest to do some of those things. Because even a marginal effort is better than letting something be an afterthought. 

I figured I would share with you MY Bs, and it'll most definitely give you an inside glimpse into why my content looks like it does. These are a reflection of my priorities and things that are important to me, and also areas that I felt I needed to improve on. They are all a part of me trying to curate my best life (which I'd thought of using as the subheading for my blog actually...well Curating Your Best Life). 
  • BEAU
  • BODY
  • BASE
  • BLOG
Clearly you can see that I took a little artistic license in coming up with these categories, and I'll briefly explain my thoughts behind them...but I honestly could probably do a blog post each to really delve into the items I have written down and how I'm putting them into action on a day to day basis to make a difference in my life. And whether or not I feel that it's working. That is if even one of you reading finds this interesting!! 😉

Beliefs is where I've put everything centered around my spirit and faith. I'm trying to grow in this area, and make it a larger part of my life so my list includes things like reading the Bible every day, listening to sermons and Christian podcasts, keeping a prayer journal, a gratitude journal, exploring local churches, reading devotionals, spending time in quiet prayer and reflection, etc. This is one area where my list, and making a clear and conscious decision to intentionally work on adding these items into my life has really paid off. 

Beau is all about my relationship with my husband. This year we'll have our 25th anniversary, and I never want to take him for granted. I want to ensure that he knows he's loved and cared for. This incredibly cheesy list is full of date night ideas we will probably never use because we're too busy drinking beer and watching home improvement shows to leave the house. But I have reminders that his love language is not the same as mine, and I need to remember that unlike me he'd prefer I made the floor so clean you could eat off it, or I made sure there wasn't a single book outside of my bookshelf in the office instead of writing him a long love letter. 

My Brain list is probably the longest, as it's the one that reminds me that I love to learn new things and all of the myriad of ways in which I can do that. Of course books are on this list (and I believe you learn from fiction along with nonfiction). It also includes things like online language programs, podcasts, free online classes, museums, jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, art galleries, museums, TED talks, lectures, listening to new music, webinars...the list goes on and on. I am also fascinated by researching that goes in here too. It's mainly a reminder that you don't have to be in school to learn new things. 

My Body list is all about exercise really. I've listed a bunch of different things I can do to try and get moving again, from dancing to walking the dog. This is also where Weight Watchers and healthy eating would go. And learning to love the body I'm currently in while I'm losing weight, which is tough for me. Plus things like routine doctors appointments, drinking enough water, vitamins, etc. If it has anything to do with treating my physical body better, it goes here. 

The Bonding list is where I keep ideas for nurturing my relationships with my two adult kids and my friends/family. Ideas like buying flowers for people and Christmas gifts for my daughter's roommates to being better about Skyping my sister and having one on one girl time with my daughter. I always want to make sure the people I love know that I love them, and I have some major improving I need to do on this one. I know I can be an absentminded friend and daughter at times so I'm brainstorming, and a major work in progress...

The Beauty list might seem at first glance to be a little vain, but trust me it's not. I haven't always been the best about self-care, so this list isn't so much "spend more money at Sephora" as it is things like remember to take your makeup off every night, keep lotion in your purse, maybe get your nails done with your daughter, etc. As someone who has struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence, I am really trying to love my girly self and delight in the simple pleasure of a regular beauty routine. But I need reminding, as it's not second nature for me. So there's a method and reason behind the skincare pics on Instagram, and makeup videos on YouTube. 

My Base list is probably the most boring because it's really a house cleaning list that I haven't quite sorted out yet. I can't figure out if I want to try and do some form of a FlyLady zone cleaning, or what...but I've never had a good routine for keeping my house clean. And I live with an over the top clean freak. This is another thing that is really more about the lack of routine, because we keep a pretty darn clean house...but it's a lot of sporadic entire days spent doing the uber-clean, and then days of not doing much of anything. I'd rather have it be spread out more evenly. But I haven't figured out how to do it yet...hence the list. 

And last is my Blog list...where I'm writing down all of the random ideas I have for posts and videos. I have a lot of junk floating around in my head, and I need to get it out and on paper. I'd like to get ahead on videos and posts so that I have less instances of not getting anything up due to being sick or the hubby being off work that day, etc. So this list is my brain dump for all things Tomes and Tequila, in an effort to become a bit less scatterbrained. 

Some new devotionals I purchased recently
I would say that most of my areas of focus are pretty universal. My beliefs might by different than yours...maybe yours involve more yoga and meditation...or you wouldn't call it beliefs necessarily, but it could be tweaked. Maybe you don't have a Beau (or Babe) at the moment, so that could look different than my 25 years married one does. Say you don't have a Blog...but it could be Business...or another word for Hobby, you get the idea. The point is to really hone in on what say a 10 out of 10 level marriage would look like, what are some actions you'd need to do to make that happen, do some brainstorming, and then try and incorporate them into your life. Or a 10 out of 10 spiritual life, etc. As I said in my post about picking a word for this year I am trying to find new ways to take ACTION in bringing about the positive changes I want to make in my life. 

I'm now thinking of a million other ways you could do this. Use, hobby, hottie or husband, home, etc. You could sit down and decide that you are on top of everything in your life except two Gs that you want to focus on this year...Guitars and Gardening...and write down all of the ways you could grow in those two things this year. Or don't be a cheesy-goofball like me, and actually use the words that REALLY apply regardless of what letter they start with. 😜

I hope that in sharing my crazy Bs I've given you a few tips to hone in on your priorities in life, or given you something to think about. My aim in writing posts like this is twofold. I hope that if there are others out there who struggle with some of the same issues I do, I can be of some help. But writing always helps me to focus on what's whirling around in my monkey-brain, and cements the idea a little firmer in my head. Plus it puts the intent out there in the world. My sister now knows I want to Skype her more!! LOL It gives me some accountability. 

So please, if you've read this long and rambling post and it's made an ounce of sense to you, leave a comment and let me know. I'd love to hear from you! 


  1. Outstanding post! Great ideas and makes great sense!!!

  2. Thank you!! For some reason my blog thought this was my apologies that I hadn't responded to this before now!