Yes, I Shaved My Legs for Our Lunch Date....

My thoughts on making friends as a grown ass woman. 


I just want to lift the curtain up for a minute and show you a behind the scenes moment from my house this morning. I'm going to paint a picture for you. I'm doing it for one of two reasons. The first is because I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not the only person around who feels this way, in which case you might feel better about yourself. The second is because I might BE the only one, in which case you'll find it funny and share it with your friends. 

I need to give you a little information before I jump right into my morning. As some of you know, I recently moved across the country to a town and area that I've never been to before. We moved for my husband's work, and I have yet to find a job here myself...although I'm looking. And both of my children are adults. We are a military family, but aren't living on a base...and my husband's office is small so the socialization is minimal. 

What all of this means is...I have no friends. 

Well, that's not right really. I actually have a bunch of wonderful friends, but none of them really live by me. I have a fabulous friend who lives almost close enough to hang with, but the rest are scattered around the world. That is one of the many joys of being attached to the military, and I'm sure it applies to many other professions and lifestyles nowadays. You move around and are forced to start your social life all over again.


Now, I am an extrovert. I normally have zero problems in social situations. I love to talk to people, and have always made friends fairly easily. BUT...and this is a big BUT...I have usually relied on a handful of scenarios to make friends. When your children are young, you make friends with other moms...and the mothers of your children's friends. You're at the school, sports functions, cheer, choir, the list goes on and on...and are surrounded by other people. Or you make friends with coworkers. You have your work posse, and you get together for drinks regularly to complain about whatever is pissing you off that week. Or as a military spouse, you have your spouse's coworkers and the functions that go along with them...squadron picnics, meet and greets, Christmas parties, etc. 

So...you take all of that away, and what do you have? 

You basically have a bored Christina, who has taken to having long conversations with her dog...who pounces on her husband the moment he walks in the door because I'm dying to talk to someone else...who really needs a friend. (In all fairness, Thing 2 is around...but I have a feeling we are both in need of conversation with someone other than each other.) 

But today was going to be different. Today, I had a lunch date!!! The mother of my daughter's roommate was going to come pick me up and take me out to lunch!! I'd talked to her online a few times, she seemed incredibly nice, and I couldn't WAIT to meet her and have someone new to TALK TO!!!

Last night it felt like when I was little and I couldn't sleep before the first day of school. I was SO nervous! The only thing that made it less stressful was her telling me that she had no plans to be dressed up for lunch.

I mean really. Women...help each other out. Give each other a hint about what you're wearing when you're having a get together. It will eliminate 3/4 of the stress that we undergo when planning and getting ready. I know we're not supposed to give two shits what anyone thinks about our clothing, blah blah blah...but come on. I don't want to be wearing jeans if everyone else will be in skirts and dresses. Find some way to subtly toss out a reference to your outfit in a conversation beforehand. Your friend will love you for it.

Anyway.

So, the insomniac that I am didn't sleep well because of nerves, but to be a fly on the wall of my bedroom this morning. You would've thought I was getting ready for a date with Michael Fassbender! I not only plucked my eyebrows, I also trimmed those bad boys so I didn't look like Andy Rooney. I lotioned and potioned myself. I pulled out my favorite primer in the hopes that my makeup might withstand the sweat that would inevitably arrive due to nerves. I used my beauty blender for my foundation instead of lazily using a brush. My under-eye circles were covered by not only concealer but also BRIGHTENER. I whipped out my favorite perfume...even though it has patchouli in it, and I always worry it will give off the hippy vibe. It took me 15 minutes to pick which pair of earrings to put on my ears. I ran out of time to paint my nails, but I put lotion on my hands and elbows, because heaven forbid you have old lady elbows. AND...I shaved my legs with L'Occitane Almond Oil.

Yes, you read that right. I hurriedly shaved my legs to cover them up with pants, and then sit in a car and across a table from another woman who I had never met. Because I wanted her to be my friend.

Did my legs being cleanly shaved increase the chances of her liking me? Was she even LOOKING at my legs?? What was this???


And then, when I was done primping myself to the best of my abilities, I sat and waited at the door watching for her. You know...in case she got lost looking for my house. Or trying to find a parking spot. It was about this time that I thought...trying to make friends as an adult can be more stressful than dating!!! I might as well have had a post-it note on my forehead saying "Please Like Me".

And my take-away, after a lovely lunch of nonstop conversation, was that this is probably something we all go through and never ever tell anyone about. Making friends as an adult can be a GIANT pain in the ass, and we are all so hard on ourselves...much harder than we ever would be on someone else.

So this is me lifting the curtain. Even extroverts like me get nervous in some social situations. In the future know that, if we're meeting up, I will try to throw out a "I think tomorrow feels like a jeans day" or "I am feeling like snazzing things up a bit, so I may just whip out a dress tomorrow". And because I'm a nerd, I will always crack some joke to let you know that I was nervous just in case you were nervous also.

Or maybe I'm just incredibly neurotic...in which case please leave a comment to tell me why this has never come up in your life. Because I actually wore one of my best bras also... 😁

Comments

  1. This is relatable on so many levels, even when I'm feeling less like I care what people think

    I laughed about using really nice shaving products even though you were gonna be wearing pants, I'm enough of a dork that I'd be in the same boat. Or I'll put a face mask on the night before and clip my toenails even though all I ever wear are my big doc martens

    I miss being able to talk to you in person, but your blog is pretty close to that ❤️

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    1. I miss talking to you in person too. You need to come visit soon. :)

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